Saturday, July 7, 2012

The Real Mommy

My job dictates that I spend a lot of time online.  Visiting social sites and forums with a lot of discussion amongst women, many of them mothers.   I often feel like an outsider as moms discuss organic meals, paying $1000's a month for schooling, daily family outings with joyous and beautiful pictures to show just how perfect a mommy they really are.

It often leaves me scratching my head as I feed my kid a hot dog, am highly grateful for the good public school she attends and our photos are often ones with disheveled hair and dirty t-shirts.

My point?  I would really love to see all mothers give ourselves a break.  Sometimes we are good mommies, sometimes we kinda suck.   I am not a perfect mommy, I'm a good mommy and while I always strive to be the best I can be at whatever I do, sometimes I fail to be perfect and "good enough" will have to do.  I can live with that.

Attempting to portray our lives any different than what they really are is an insult to other women and it puts expectations on moms that create feelings of sorrow, not being good enough and shame.

I'm taking a stand for 'The Real Mommy'   I know your all out there and I think your doing a fantastic job, keep it up!!!

okay..I know my blog is not typically a social one but I just needed to get that off my chest.

So do you think these demon moms feel about the way they are raising their demon babies?


Enchanted Hollow Designs said...

Amen, Girl!!! I wholeheartedly agree.
Big hugs, you are an amazing real world mom doing the best you can and that is all anyone can do.

Sue said...

Totally agree Colleen! I was (and am) a 'real' world mom...except now my grown-up daughters call me 'cool mom'. Pretty cool no?

I love your little oddity babies!

MLBetterly said...

Oh Colleen, I think you just echoed every thought I ever had about this subject. I always envy those women whose whole existence revolves around their children. The perfectly dressed kids with bows in their hair and mom in an apron with an healthy meal on the table every evening. I wish I was more like that. I'm not even close but, I do my best. My kids think I'm pretty awesome and that I'm a "cool mom" so I must be doing something right. Judging from the pics you put up of you and your daughter, I bet you're doing a lot of things right too. :) <3

Yve said...

I'm sure your daughter thinks you are an amazing mother and after all, who else's opinion matters on this subject ;o)

I have no kids but I can definitely imagine what the pressure is like, you see it everywhere, women trying to out "home-Maker" each other, trying to be the best, most innovative cook, and have the sparkliest children. They put enormous pressure on the rest of us and way more than necessary on themselves.

For me a beautiful, perfect day is one you spend with people you love, not one where you forced the people you love to wear their best clothes, then photographed every moment so you had something to blog about!

Cynthia Myers said...

I don't have kids but my sister does. I used to worked with a woman whose home was perfectly decorated and her kids always wore little polo shirts and pressed khakis. She didn't allow them to use "paint" or "Play-Doh" because it would make a mess. I think about my nieces, running around their yard in their T-shirts and how they are always "creating" something. My sister displays cool little rocks and odd shaped sticks as her home decor. All her photos are of the kids caught in play. Their home is sometimes messy but always magical. They all believe in Fairies. I think it's obvious which kids are having a great childhood. It's so easy to get lost in comparing ourselves to others. I do it way too often. But we are actually lucky, because we can take a step back and realize what is REALLY important.

As always, I love your work. Those babies are great. That second one makes me dizzy!
XOXO - Cindi (aka oldblackcatboo)

Michele Lynch Art said...

Colleen, I totally agree, and really the thing you give your kids that matter most to them is love and memories. Not fancy trips, or other material things. I hope my kids remember me laughing and the fun we had, not where we were or what I bought them.

everything ok! said...

Perfect is rubbish. I hate that sort of show-offy, super-judgy, I'm-so-awesome mentality you see amongst some parents. Here's a thought: are your kids happy? Keep up the good work, screw everything else.

LoopyBoopy said...

I went away for the last couple days and have just come back to ready y'alls comments. Seriously you beatiful women bring me to tears! Your so wise and the words you write mean so much to me. I can see I share this planet with some very very real women and that makes me feel calm. Thank you so much!!

Gerushia's New World said...

Bravo! This is such a true and heartful blog post.

Thank you for saying what so many moms needed to hear!

Gerushia's New World

yoborobo said...

I haven't posted on your blog before Colleen, but I have to today! I am an imperfect Mom of 4 (now almost grown) who occasionally (OMG!) and made mac n'cheese from a box and had/has a messy house. My kids are all fantastic people, and somehow they survive my parenting (and public schools, and clothes from Target and thrift stores). We moms need to back each other up. LOVE the new dolls!